The Student News Site of Rock Bridge High School

Bearing News

The Student News Site of Rock Bridge High School

Bearing News

The Student News Site of Rock Bridge High School

Bearing News

High school relationships feel pressure

High+school+relationships+feel+pressure
[vc_video link=”https://vimeo.com/124218434″ title=”Somewhere between stressed and well dressed”][vc_custom_heading text=”Boyfriend vs. Girlfriend. How are you and your significant holding up against the testament of love?” font_container=”tag:h2|font_size:22|text_align:center|color:%23878787″ google_fonts=”font_family:Abril%20Fatface%3Aregular|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal”]Social scientists find adolescent relationships just a puzzling as teens do. Learning to compromise and listen is a must. Adolescence is a sensitive period for relationships and intimacy. Each kind of love has its own different feel. For example, a persons love for a family member is different to that of his or her’s best friend or lover.  Even in a family or a culture where he or she is not supposed to act on those feelings, they won’t be dismissed.One could say that attraction is the chemical portion of love. It’s the physical and mental interest someone has in someone else, that makes him or her nervous and exited.
Good ways to grow closer in relationships is by learning to give and receive. A healthy relationship isn’t about how much a person can get from or give to the other. Spending time together is key.
“We hang out with friends a lot and we watch a lot of movies, but now, we’ve started going out on our own,” sophomore Gretchen Cone said about her relationship with Max Schaefer. “We don’t have a lot to fight about, but recently we’ve had a problem and we just talked about it.”
In 2006, half of all teens reported they have dated in the past and almost one-third of teens said they’ve been in a committed relationship.
“I think we have really good communication, and we don’t fight a lot. We don’t have big differences that we have to argue about,” Schaefer said.
Communication is also valid – two have to have it in order to trust each other. It goes along with listening to a girlfriend or boyfriend. Even if one disagrees, supporting the other. Communication is something that’s significant in a relationship.
“I think adolescents value feeling normal, not being alone, knowing that someone approves of you,” school counselor Mr. Martin said.   “In general, I think the stakes are higher in adult relationships. So, the issue of commitment. I think if you had two 30-year-olds in a relationship, a long term commitment, financial commitment,  may be more of a factor then if you had two 14-year-olds. I think the emotions are high. Adolescents, probably higher, perhaps. And I think, I think adolescent relationships are more based on similar interests, and like, fun, I guess the stakes are lower, I think. So I guess that’d be the biggest [difference], they don’t feel like the stakes are higher.”
Signs that you’re in a healthy relationship are things like having mutual respect, equality, kindness, good communication and trust. Problems are often lack of communication and trust.
“I think some of the problems in teen relationships are the same as in adult relationships. I think the biggest one is lack of communication about expectations,” Martin said.
Teen’s relationships significantly impact future ones. They change people’s perspective on a lot of things, like how to treat a partner.
“Ah, man they set the blueprint,” Mr. Martin said. “So I think –  I kinda’ live under the philosophy that whenever you meet somebody or you’re in a relationship with somebody, you bring the ghost of your past, all your past relationships with you and that person brings all the ghosts of all their past relationships with them. So for example I’m 32 years old, I married my wife when I was 24, but, you know, when we first got in a relationship, I thought about all the relationships, you know, even down to my first girl. All that stuff impacted how I view women how I interacted with women. It kind of influenced my communication style, so I think all those things were present [in his relationship with his wife].”
Sometimes a couple will lose their closeness and will just stay together out of commitment for the other – especially adults.
“Talking a lot [makes them close], just about personal stuff with each other,” sophomore Tyson Jamieson said about his relationship with his girlfriend, junior Javan Whitney-Warner.   Like friendship, relationships can or will fail if they’re not given enough attention and time.  Making time for your partner is important to stay close, otherwise the couple will gradually lose its feeling of closeness to each other. Or perhaps, they go their separate ways after graduation.
A couple might grow apart because of his or her’s priorities and the things they care about change as they’re maturing. Or, they realize they want different things that they can’t get in their relationship. Unfortunately, one person might feel like the relationship has reached its end while the other doesn’t feel the same.
Feelings of loss can be overwhelming, or too much to handle, when one’s relationship with his or her’s first love ends. A break up isn’t typically something someone can prepare for. This is the time when he or she needs support from their friends and family the most. Adults often expect teens to get over the break up quickly and get over it. That type of advice doesn’t help, so talking someone who understands what the person is going through is important.   People learn a lot from relationships. For example, how to open up to people, and how to empathize better.
“It [their relationship] was something I’ve never experienced, and I’ve learned how to compromise, listen and understand people better,” Warner said.
By Layla Kheiralla[TS-VCSC-Content-Flip flip_style=”style1″ flip_effect_style1=”horizontal” flip_effect_style2=”ts-flip-right” flip_effect_speed=”medium” flip_size_auto=”true” flip_size=”790″ front_html=”false” back_html=”false” read_more_link=”false” read_more_txt=”Read More” read_more_target=”_parent” front_icon_replace=”true” front_image=”274864″ front_image_full=”true” front_icon_size=”70″ flip_border_thick=”1″ front_icon_frame_thick=”1″ front_padding=”false” front_icon_padding=”0″ front_icon_color=”#cccccc” front_icon_frame_color=”#000000″ front_color=”#000000″ front_color_title=”#000000″ front_background=”#ffffff” flip_border_color_front=”#dddddd” back_color=”#000000″ back_color_title=”#000000″ back_background=”#ffffff” flip_border_color_back=”#dddddd” read_more_color=”#000000″ read_more_background=”#dddddd” animations=”false” margin_top=”0″ margin_bottom=”0″][vc_video title=”High school vs. its significant others.” link=”https://vimeo.com/124218433″][TS-VCSC-Content-Flip flip_style=”style1″ flip_effect_style1=”horizontal” flip_effect_style2=”ts-flip-right” flip_effect_speed=”medium” flip_size_auto=”true” flip_size=”200″ front_html=”false” back_html=”false” read_more_link=”false” read_more_txt=”Read More” read_more_target=”_parent” front_icon_replace=”true” front_image_full=”true” front_icon_size=”70″ flip_border_thick=”1″ front_icon_frame_thick=”1″ front_padding=”false” front_icon_padding=”0″ front_icon_color=”#cccccc” front_icon_frame_color=”#000000″ front_color=”#000000″ front_color_title=”#000000″ front_background=”#ffffff” flip_border_color_front=”#dddddd” back_color=”#000000″ back_color_title=”#000000″ back_background=”#ffffff” flip_border_color_back=”#dddddd” read_more_color=”#000000″ read_more_background=”#dddddd” animations=”false” margin_top=”0″ margin_bottom=”0″ back_title=”Junior Javan Whitney-Warner and sophmore Tyson Jamieson” back_content=”Couple that’s been together for a year and a half.” front_image=”273297″][TS-VCSC-Content-Flip flip_style=”style1″ flip_effect_style1=”horizontal” flip_effect_style2=”ts-flip-right” flip_effect_speed=”medium” flip_size_auto=”true” flip_size=”200″ front_html=”false” back_title=”Sonya Kim and Savannah Ferguson, freshmen” back_html=”false” back_content=”Sonya and Savannah have been friends for 2 months.” read_more_link=”false” read_more_txt=”Read More” read_more_target=”_parent” front_icon_replace=”true” front_image=”273975″ front_image_full=”true” front_icon_size=”70″ flip_border_thick=”1″ front_icon_frame_thick=”1″ front_padding=”false” front_icon_padding=”0″ front_icon_color=”#cccccc” front_icon_frame_color=”#000000″ front_color=”#000000″ front_color_title=”#000000″ front_background=”#ffffff” flip_border_color_front=”#dddddd” back_color=”#000000″ back_color_title=”#000000″ back_background=”#ffffff” flip_border_color_back=”#dddddd” read_more_color=”#000000″ read_more_background=”#dddddd” animations=”false” margin_top=”0″ margin_bottom=”0″][vc_custom_heading font_container=”tag:h2|text_align:left” google_fonts=”font_family:Abril%20Fatface%3Aregular|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal” text=”Friendship offers support, comfort”][vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=”” seperator_1=”” ts_row_bg_effects=”” ts_row_screen_height=”false” ts_row_screen_offset=”0″ ts_row_min_height=”100″ ts_row_break_parents=”0″ ts_row_zindex=”0″ ts_row_bg_image=”” ts_row_bg_source=”full” ts_row_bg_position=”center” ts_row_bg_position_custom=”” ts_row_bg_size_standard=”cover” ts_row_bg_size_parallax=”cover” ts_row_bg_repeat=”no-repeat” ts_row_parallax_type=”up” ts_row_bg_alignment_v=”center” ts_row_bg_alignment_h=”center” ts_row_parallax_speed=”20″ ts_row_automove_speed=”75″ ts_row_automove_scroll=”true” ts_row_automove_align=”horizontal” ts_row_automove_path_h=”leftright” ts_row_automove_path_v=”topbottom” ts_row_movement_x_allo
w=”true” ts_row_movement_x_ratio=”10″ ts_row_movement_y_allow=”true” ts_row_movement_y_ratio=”10″ ts_row_movement_content=”true” seperator_5=”” padding_top=”30″ padding_bottom=”30″ margin_left=”0″ margin_right=”0″ single_color=”#ffffff” gradient_angle=”0″ gradient_color_start=”#cccccc” gradient_start_offset=”0″ gradient_color_end=”#cccccc” gradient_end_offset=”100″ video_youtube=”” video_background=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_webm=”” video_image=”” video_mute=”true” video_loop=”false” video_remove=”false” video_start=”false” video_stop=”true” video_controls=”true” video_raster=”false” seperator_8=”” svg_top_on=”false” svg_top_style=”1″ svg_top_height=”100″ svg_top_flip=”false” svg_top_position=”0″ svg_top_color1=”#ffffff” svg_top_color2=”#ededed” seperator_9=”” svg_bottom_on=”false” svg_bottom_style=”1″ svg_bottom_height=”100″ svg_bottom_flip=”false” svg_bottom_position=”0″ svg_bottom_color1=”#ffffff” svg_bottom_color2=”#ededed” seperator_10=”” ts_row_raster_use=”false” ts_row_raster_type=”” ts_row_overlay_use=”false” ts_row_overlay_color=”rgba(30,115,190,0.25)” ts_row_blur_strength=”” seperator_11=”” animation_view=”” css3animations_in=”” animation_scroll=”false” animation_speed=”2000″ el_file1=”” el_file2=””]Freshman Morgan Merritt recalls a time when she had broken her grandmother’s vase. Frantic, she didn’t know what to do. Luckily for her, Merritt’s friend, Dequan Brown, came to save her.
 
“My friend had the same vase, so they just let me trade it and my grandma never found out,” Merritt said.
 
There are important benefits of friendships. Having friends can increase a person’s happiness, decrease stress level, help avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or drug use, and improve self-confidence.
 
“It’s very important to have friends in high school, because you have someone to confide in, and someone that accepts you for who you really are,” Mary Ann Pulley said.
 
Most importantly, friends can help people cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss, the death of a loved one, and other troubling problems that someone may encounter.
 
When freshman Sydney Dothage was having “boy problems,” her friend, Merritt, was there to help her out.
 
“Yeah, Sydney was so upset, and I was just like, ‘Hey we’re gonna go to court warming, and we’re gonna wear really cute dresses, and we’re gonna pretend like this never happened,” Merritt said.
 
It’s key to have these sorts of relationships, especially in high school. One that’s crucial is to communicate and have someone with whom one can talk openly.
 
“We try to talk everything out, like if something’s going on with me or Karissa,” Merritt said. “We’ll just talk to each other about it.”
 
According to the Mayo Clinic,  friends can help celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. They prevent loneliness and give a chance to offer needed companionship, too. When in the company of a close friend, individuals tend to open themselves a lot better and communicate even their darkest secrets, fears and anything he or she feels like sharing. A friend might be aware of problems, which parents or family members might not realize.
 
“It’s important to have friends that are accepting because then you feel better about yourself and you do not have to worry about trying to change who you are in order to fit in.” Junior Brandi Robinson said.
 
Studies by Psych Central prove that healthy relationships make aging more enjoyable, lessen grief, and provide camaraderie to help reach personal goals, along with several other things. Good friends are good health.
 
“Friends have been there through my sickness, for my family, and always encouraging me,” Pulley said. “When I felt I couldn’t pray for myself they prayed for me.”
 
Pulley said she remembers a time when her heart stopped three times, and she stopped breathing. This resulted to her being in a coma and on life support for four months. But through all of this   she had a different friend visiting her each day.
 
“Even though I wasn’t awake all of them sang to me, prayed for me, and a couple of them make CDs with my favorite songs to play 24 hours,” Pulley said.
Pulley said when she was transferred to home care, the visits didn’t stop there. Mary had support until she was back to her own home again.
“God didn’t create us to be alone,” Pulley said.
 
By Nikki Briggs

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