Long-awaited Avengers: Endgame finally hit theaters April 26.As a relatively new Marvel diehard, Endgame was the first movie I waited a full year in anticipation for rather than streaming immediately after watching the previous film. I feared I’d lose interest between Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame, but the wait simply brewed anticipatory theories and hilarious cast interviews. Additionally, the release of Deadpool 2 staved off some of my Endgame hunger.
Endgame, the last installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) Phase Three, is by far one of the most elusively-marketed films yet. The ensemble cast, even notorious-for-spoiling Mark Ruffalo, do little more than confirm the movie’s very existence. Directors Joe and Anthony Russo began a social media campaign: #DontSpoilTheEndgame.
I am committed to upholding that campaign. Reviewing the movie may prove futile, but all moviegoers must follow a strict set of rules if they hope to enjoy what may be the movie of a generation.
Empty your bladder
Yes, what you’ve heard is true. The film is, in fact, three hours, and there is no good opportunity for a bathroom break. Buy a soda only if you have a bladder the size of Thanos’ chin. Use the bathroom right before the previews end. There is not a single set of two minutes okay to miss: that is a promise.
Bring a diaper. Carry a bottle. Put a port-a-potty inside the theater if need be. In those three hours, you and your seat are one.
Bring a blanket
Keep yourself warm. I tend to get cold inside the movies, and cooler temperatures signal our bodies that it’s time to sleep.
Endgame is not the time to sleep.
I had the friend I experienced Endgame with give me a blanket. I stayed awake the entire movie, a feat I didn’t even accomplish during Infinity War. I promise, any distraction from the screen will ruin your experience.
Prepare for emotional destruction
Within the first 10 minutes, I cycled at least twice between laughter and tears. The film is hilarious, but the writers have a way of tugging your heartstrings right after a humorous moment.
Most of the emotional pain comes from the fact that Endgame is the endgame. Everything that happens in this film is permanent. I left the theater satisfied yet heartbroken. Any damage caused by Hydra, Ultron, Loki, and other defeated villain doesn’t hold a candle to the chaos Thanos left at the end of Infinity War.
The first film of the MCU, Iron Man, dealt with terrorists kidnapping Tony Stark. There was zero mention of aliens, of Infinity Stones, of what existed beyond Earth. No one knew what an Avenger was. Peter Quill hadn’t become a Guardian of the Galaxy, Thor was still the egotistical heir to the Asgardian throne and, most importantly, Thanos’ plans were in their infancy.
The first film that signified that the endgame was approaching is Avengers: Age of Ultron. Yet, there still existed about four years worth of films until the end.
Over 11 years, the MCU exploded. Endgame is the culmination of every single battle, romance and civil war.The film brings together the result of every new life, every death, every reconciliation, every redemption, every one-liner and every team whether be it the Avengers, the Guardians or Thor: Ragnarok’s Revengers.
Every single character has been crashing towards one another, canonically, for over 100 years. Endgame concludes this massive story in ways that shattered my heart yet left me satisfied.
Get up after the movie ends
There aren’t any mid-credit or post-credit scenes. Don’t play yourself by lingering in the theater.